Here. Now.

Today is an outstanding day.

No matter how you got here or why you are here, the fact is you are HERE NOW.

What will you do with this moment?

Will you remind yourself of the past, what you lost or what is due you? Or will you look to the future and fantasize about how great it will be when you get XYZ?

What if you just stayed HERE NOW? What if you just noticed your body right now. Feel your feet on the floor. The sensation of the air on your eyeballs. Hear the ambient sounds in the room. What if you noticed your thoughts right now? Are they floating in and out of your consciousness or are they stuck in your head like a video loop. What are you feeling now? Boredom, excitement, sadness?

So much is going on right now that you never notice, until you are asked to notice.

How can any of us live a REAL life if we don’t even know what is going on this moment? How can we make any kind of rational decisions about ourselves, about others, the world or anything else…if we don’t even know what is going on in our own space?

Today is an outstanding day to notice a little bit more about ourselves.

Let’s make a decision to live HERE NOW.

With love,

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Happy Easter

Today is the day to remember that we are more than bodies. We are God’s energy emanating through physical form. Today is the day to remember there is no need for struggle in this world because the source of all we need is already within and flowing through us.

God is not outside of us but is the very light we are created with. We were never separate from God nor did we ever have to earn his favor.

It is hard to accept that we secretly enjoy the struggles of life as it gives us a purpose when we don’t understand why we are here. We can choose to surrender the struggle and face the fear of a life without mental hardship that we unknowingly created. It will take faith and trust to believe that a new purpose will arise for us. A purpose that is joyful. peaceful and complete.

The purpose is to be fully present to all of life. Fully present means without any resistance in the form of judgement; good or bad, right or wrong.

Be fully present with what is at this moment and allow the mysterious beauty of that to unfold before your very eyes.

Happy Easter.


Ashamed of Shame

Shame suffocates me. I can’t breathe or I won’t breathe because I am too ashamed to even suck up the air I need. I’m not sure when the shame birthed itself but I can remember hiding because of it very early in my life. The kind of hiding when you pretend you don’t notice someone you know because you don’t have anything to say that will match their perfectly wonderful life.

I am 51, reasonably attractive and reasonably successful. Yet today as I shopped in Marshall’s looking for the latest cheap deal on a dress, wearing my sloppy Sunday shorts, I caught a glance of an old boyfriend from high school with his wife. I hadn’t seen him in years but we connected on facebook last year and exchanged a few pleasantries but then I backed off. From his posts I gathered he made oodles of money, is a committed husband and loving father, all the things I failed having with a man. I couldn’t face him without looking my best. I slinked away between the shirt racks.

There is another way I hide. I withdraw from the moment. My body is there but my heart disappears.

Yesterday started out as a beautiful day with a long drive planned to a quiet beach to spend time with my daughter and her much loved dogs. From the moment she slammed the transmission into drive she was seething with anger, a fight the night before with her father lingered in every movement. Then the hate poured out of her mouth like vomit. “I hate him! I hate grandma and Sal! I hate them all!”

Pictures of long gone battles with my ex-husband and his family popped up like a continuous row of jack-in-a-boxes exploding in my skull. The buried frustration, the disgust, the disappointment rocked back and forth like clown heads on a spring. Then the shame of bringing her into those circumstances stifled any expression of love like a nylon stocking pulled down tight over my face. I couldn’t smile. I couldn’t communicate. I couldn’t be.

I lost 6 hours of my life yesterday in a time warp of shame.

I lied. I think I know when the shame started. It was somewhere between wondering where my father was and trying to not be a problem for my irritable mother. They divorced when I was less than 3 years old and I have no memories of him. Only a few pictures I found in a closet shoebox that substitute for memories that should have been. My mother was always angry, even for silly things it seemed when I was young. Not sure if she was always that way or if it was because of him leaving.  Either way, I had to keep my guard up. Less than perfect would not do. If she left too, who would take care of me? If I made her angry, who would protect me?

Still stuck in this little girl place where it’s not safe, I am ashamed for even being here after all these years.

And yet, I perpetuate the shame by judging myself for even having it. It is not the shame that causes me disharmony. It is my judgment for having it.

I am allowed and encouraged to experience all parts of humanity without judgment. This allowing is forgiveness. It is surrender to what is rather than fighting and judging the temporary experience of this moment. And through the allowing, forgiving and surrendering, the shame is finally free to move on and out of my physical body and mind. Thus restoring balance and center to once again feel what I truly am, a magnificent being that is part of the Whole, yet expressing itself uniquely in this human body.

With compassion,


Post Election Wisdom

The secret to success and happiness over the next four years and beyond is:
Depend on yourself, not the government. Define your own rights, don’t wait for the government. Help yourself, don’t ask the government. Contribute to others, don’t expect the government.
In the end, our success and happiness is always about us, what we believe, what we think and what we take action on. The outside world is just a fantasy or nightmare that we either idolize or blame. Either way, it is a distraction from our true internal power.
World conditions always change and if we depend on it for our stability and strength, we will eventually be disappointed.
Instead, today is great day to wake up and become responsible for the life we want to live regardless if the outside world matches our expectations or not.
Yes, today is a great, great day for stepping up to what may seem like a challenge and instead seeing it as an opportunity to be a leader. The leader of ourselves.

Want True Power?

All power comes from God. Anything not of God, has no power at all.

The ego believes the opposite and tries to constantly convince us that it has all the power.

Quite frankly, the ego is an imposter, an emperor without clothes, trying to pass itself off as The Real Thing or a well suited king.

The ego’s highest priority is to preserve its control and power by persuading us to believe we are separate beings with separate needs and wants. Further, it nags us to be constantly vigilant against others who may prevent us from satisfying these very same needs and wants. Separation from each other and God (which represents Love and Oneness) is a key objective for the ego.

There can be NO oneness where the ego is concerned because oneness means the end of separation, the end of its existence or its “death”; a complete dissolve into nothingness as the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy doused her with water.

To the ego, there is nothing that lies beyond.

In order to build a case for separateness to keep its image of itself alive, the ego analyzes everything to attack it and break it down into meaningless parts. Then it chooses bits and pieces from the deconstructed whole, puts it back together the way it wants to, forming its own version of the truth to fit its view of separation and outside threat…and we unknowingly believe our resulting perception is the “Truth” that we base our power or lack of power on.

A radically different view of where true power lies is this: God is the Truth and Truth is the sum of all parts with no bits or pieces left out. Another way we can look at the Truth is acceptance, meaning we accept everything is as it is (perhaps not condone everything) with no denial. We open our eyes to see the wholeness or the sum of all the parts with nothing excluded.

Acceptance, the view of wholeness as the whole Truth is the first step towards waking up to the presence of God within us. Nothing is denied. Nothing is hidden. What emerges then from total acceptance of everything, is the presence of God within us as our true identity, our higher self. This experience of our higher self within, which may have been overshadowed by the ego for so long, hardly feels comfortable to acknowledge at first.

However, soon our higher self is easy to follow with no strain at all for it is our natural state of awareness. It is only the distortions of the ego which make following our higher self seem like a fearful path.  Here is where a little bit of faith, trust and willingness to believe in our higher self works wonders. Initially, this is all it takes to loosen the ego’s power hungry grip upon our minds with its familiar fear based thinking.

The true God does not demand anything of us other than to acknowledge that our higher self exists and is our true identity. Once we become acquainted with our higher self, our path will feel safer and become more clear as God’s Will for us, the only true will there is in the universe. At this point, the ego has been revealed to be our impostor identity with absolutely no power at all. We might actually laugh at how fiercely we once believed in its “power” to guide and protect us.

This is the direction all of humanity is headed. Whether the realization happens now or in a million years depends on our effort. Any delay on our part is asking for more frustration in our lives today, with endless worldly pursuits that never lead to any lasting satisfaction, true joy or inner peace.

When we choose to embrace our higher self as our only true self, the person we really are ans we intended to be; we will know ourselves as manifestations of God in the here and now.

Finally we will understand and begin to experience:

All power comes from God. Anything not of God, has no power at all.


Prisoner No More!

The peace we seek from anxiety, fear, anger, sadness or depression comes through our forgiveness. True forgiveness sees the absolute, perfect innocent inner core of every person, including ourselves, no matter what has happened, no matter what the “evil” or “ugly” appearances may be.

True forgiveness dissolves all grievances against others and ourselves. When all grievances are dissolved, so too are all the blocks to the Love and the Light that is God. What is then revealed and experienced next, is that the Love and the Light of God were always within us and within the other people; at one time held back by grievances but now rushing forth in freedom.

This is the miracle of true forgiveness. It releases us from being prisoners of our egos that want to blame and shame everyone including ourselves for all problems. True forgiveness  allows us to settle back peacefully into the truth of who we are, unlimited manifestations of the Love and Light of God with no real problems at all.

Forgiveness is the only real purpose we have underneath all the different roles we play in our lives; doctor, teacher, mother, father, lover, caregiver, advocate, activist, friend, employee, employer, etc.

Forgiveness simultaneously reveals to both the giver and the receiver, the Godliness inherent in every person and situation which releases us from the fear of everyone and everything.

(Godliness if correctly perceived would make us feel safe. Why would anyone need to fear the Godliness of anything which is an attribute of God, the loving creator of all that is? Unless, of course, we believe the false notion that God punishes, which would increase our fear….this false idea of a punitive God will be the subject of another blog!)

This experience of inherent Godliness is in direct opposition to the self created pain and suffering of the world which results from our grievances; our anger, our fear, our insecurity, our judgment, etc.

When we drop our grievances, EVEN FOR ONE MOMENT, by being aware of the innocent, God created core of each person including ourselves, peace will flood our entire being. We will instantly know that we have touched an eternal and everlasting truth that is the only real truth in this world.

Imagine functioning every day of our lives being aware of this truth? Imagine having this awareness permeate every conversation we have with another?

Our confidence would soar. Our hearts would easily embrace difficulty. Our vision to see solutions would be clear. As a result our joy and happiness would multiply because all our anxiety would decrease.

We would simply smile peacefully living each day with grace and appreciation for having glimpsed this truth; that at the inner level, all are safe as the Love and Light of God.

Nothing in this world can truly harm our inner core, it is only our egos that may be bruised, the very same egos that kept us chained to our grievances and blocked us from the Love and Light that now frees us into our peace.



Colorado Shooting

The shooting in Colorado is tragic and a symptom of a greater tragedy…..our youth has lost their heart. There is no dream of greatness being created for our younger people. Young Americans are being led to believe that there is no hope for them, there is no money for them,  there is no opportunity for them and so there is no reason to care about the life of another person. 

What we believe creates the perception of the world we live in. We better start believing, seeing and talking about a great America again so that our youth will have something to be proud of, something to look forward to and something to live for.

Greatness comes from DOING, not complaining. Greatness comes from EXPECTING MORE rather than accepting less. Greatness comes from ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY rather than blaming others for dissatisfaction. Greatness comes from CONNECTING to a greater Source rather than DEPENDING on the world to give us our peace.

We need leaders in this country as well as leaders in our community and leaders within our circle of friends that will stand up for greatness with every action they take…so we can show our youth once again, the greatness of who we truly are.


Why Does God Test Us?

He doesn’t.

Many religious and spiritual paths teach that every hardship we encounter is a test given to us by God. If we pass the test, life gets easier because we receive more of his favor. If we fail… well don’t worry, we will get another chance to be tested to earn his favor.

This is a perfect example of the reverse thinking of the world.

God does not test us. He does not have to. Why would he want to test us? God is the most powerful, creative force in the universe and we are his loved creations. Every single one of us, no matter what our status here on Earth is a creation from God and completely loved by God. (yes, even the ones considered “evil” by the world, which I will write about next time)

What possible good could it serve God to test us? To prove that we, his loved creations, are worthy of him? Only an insecure God would desire that kind of affirmation, not the most powerful force in the universe. As payback for our sins or mistakes? Only a power-hungry God would demand that kind of humility, not a loving creator.

If you think of it, God or what ever name you like to use for the originator of all that is, would actually be acting in a manner less than what he is, if he had to resort to this kind of relationship with us.

Some would say, he does this out of love, to teach us lessons.

To that I would say no. God does not need to teach us anything. We already know everything because we come from him, are still part of him and are therefore connected to everything he is.

But what we are is ASLEEP to the truth of who we are. We are having a severe identity crises and don’t know who we are. Instead, we define and identify ourselves as finite bodies with limited life spans and limited abilities. We have forgotten at a very young age, through the conditioning of the world, that our real identity rests in God. We have forgotten that we are not the children of our parents; we are the children of an all-powerful, all creative, life affirming God and therefore lack nothing.

What God does do is look on the silliness of this world, which includes the dramas we create based on our fears such as abandonment, disappointment, insecurity, anger, victimhood, etc….and he patiently waits.

God can wait for eternity because he knows that he has already given us every thing we need and that everything is already here for our taking. All we need to do is wake up and see it.

We need to take the blinders off that WE CREATED not God, which block all the seeing of the answers right in front of us. The answers for joy, abundance and safety we can’t see because we are too busy defending, too busy holding on to and too busy legitimizing the very fears that are keeping us asleep and blocking our vision of God’s love and generosity for us.

No, God does not test us.

It is we that test ourselves. We do this by believing in our fears more than we believe in our identity as One with God. We do this over and over until we realize that the only reason we did this in the first place is because we forgot who we were and the glory that we came from. We are like sleeping kings and queens who are lost in the forest while the kingdom is calling for us to come back and take our royal place again.

We don’t have to do this any longer. God has always been and always will be waiting to give us everything we need and the peace we really want.

Let’s stop blocking God and trust that our pass/fail days are over.


Forgive To Be Free

Think of the anger you feel against someone who lied to you.

Think of the sadness you feel about something lost to someone else.

Think of the disrespect you feel as a result of others’ words.

Think of the disappointment you feel because others have let you down.

Think of the threat you feel because of others’ actions.

False forgiveness has taught us that we are to look at ourselves as the better people and as a sign of our higher place, we are to forgive others who we believe have wronged us. False forgiveness has taught us that this is what good, righteous or spiritually advanced people do.

In truth, all false forgiveness does is judge the other person to be at fault for what we are feeling. That is not true forgiveness and there is nothing truly loving about this.

True forgiveness is to see that there is nothing to forgive in the other person. There is only one person to forgive, and that is ourselves.

What do we forgive ourselves for? For seeing any events, any actions, any words of others or ourselves as “problematic “in the first place. The reality is that things just are they way they are in every moment. There is nothing inherently good or bad about how anything is, until we put a judgment on it.

We may prefer that things be different, and so we ask to see things differently which takes us out of judgment and into neutrality. When we look at things in a neutral way, with nothing being inherently good or bad, we can look objectively and be guided by our Higher Self to say or do exactly what is the best thing to do or say that will bring us closer to the experience we prefer.

This might mean that the “how” for the outcome we want may be different from what we envisioned, but the end result will be exactly what we asked for. For example, we may want someone to be less irritating to us and with forgiveness of ourselves for seeing them as irritating; they may change how they act towards us and be more loving or may leave our lives. Either way, no irritation!

To falsely forgive others is to judge them first as wrong, then blame them for what we feel and then to give them a pardon for their wrongdoing. That is like holding a burning hot coal and blaming another for the pain in our hand and then pardoning them for our burn!

Look inside yourself today and see what hot coals you are holding on to that burden your mind. Truly forgive yourself for holding on to this perception of someone else’s or your own wrongdoing. You are the only one you need to forgive for the judgments you make about yourself or others.

Once you get in the habit of forgiving yourself for all judgment, blame and the hidden shame that lies underneath for perpetrating the whole drama, you will feel free.

True forgiveness lightens the load. It is the true source of freedom. When you feel light, you have the ability and the confidence to take risks, to challenge your fears, to go beyond what is known and comfortable and happily investigate what is new and different.

If your life feels like a burden that holds you back……by being stuck in anger, lost in sadness, wallowing in disrespect, weighed down with disappointment or paralyzed with fear….

Begin with true forgiveness and let go of the personal attack that never really happened as YOU PERCEIVED it or as YOU IMAGINED it to be.

Choose to drop the hot coals you cling to so tightly by forgiving yourself for holding on to them in the first place and finally live as free as you were meant to live.

With trust in the truth,


Laugh Loud

One of the first deep meditations I ever had resulted in laughter. Not just a chuckle but rather a full-out, belly busting laugh that continued for more than a few minutes. Why was I laughing? It was not so much that I laughed but rather laughing overtook me.

Let me explain.

I was in a room full of people guided into a meditation that used rhythmic breathing to bypass the conscious mind and go behind the defenses used to stop us from seeing the truth, otherwise known as denial.

We were all on the floor, lying on our backs, eyes closed, each in our own space both physically and mentally. After some time passed, my breathing began to bring me face to face with my mental pain and suffering. In a sudden and stark reality check, I clearly saw that my choice of how to perceive things was ultimately responsible for the pain and suffering I felt. It was clear that this was true for all people and all situations in my life.

Immediately to the left of me, in my mind’s eye, I saw the image of a man with long dark hair. He was thin and sat cross-legged wearing crispy clean white pants and shirt. He was handsome, under 30, clear complexion, deep beautiful eyes and was laughing heartily. He slapped his knee with wild abandon and laughed even harder with such intensity that I started laughing too, right out loud.

In that moment between this young man and I, without any words exchanged, I saw how silly all my pain and suffering were. They were my own creations, created out of ignorance because I did not know that I had created them and therefore had the power to change them at any moment. These very same creations of pain and suffering could be transformed into nothingness or even into joy by merely deciding I was going to choose a new way to look at the very same people and situations.

In a flash, all this was so easily understood. It was so simple and clear that I laughed harder, louder and more uncontrollably.

Meanwhile I was aware that in the room, I was the only one laughing. All the other people were breathing and meditating, some without reaction, many crying or screaming out in pain. I had a fleeting thought that wondered if I was I the crazy one for laughing or were they for weeping?

Once the laughter began to subside within me, the young man’s laughter also quieted. Then in my mind’s eye directly in front of me emerged the image of the earth suspended in mid-air. I was overwhelmed with the enormity of it. Then with a power from which I do not know where or how it came about, my once resting arms by my sides began to grow. It literally felt like they were extending longer and longer from my wrists, a few feet at first, then yards, then miles and soon they were so long they could extend around the entire earth in front of me, which is exactly what they did.

I was in awe of what was happening as it happened and did not want it to stop. It felt so good to have my arms extend at such speed. I felt enormous and powerful in spirit.  When my hands were finally able to grasp each other on the opposite side of the earth, I felt such a rush of joy and happiness. Not the joy of laughter which felt more like a release. This was the joy of wholeness, of completeness, of absolutely no lack, no desire nor need of anything. Complete satisfaction, complete contentment. Complete Love.

And the young man just sat there and witnessed it all. Peace on his face. Peace emanating from his being.

I never really believed in the Jesus of the Bible as he had been shown to me before this. The story of that man never made much sense. But the image of this young man in my meditation made a lot of sense, without his uttering one word.

It has been quite a while since my encounter with him and I had  forgotten his lesson of laughter, falling back asleep looking for answers to my pain and suffering in many of the same old places. But today I remembered him clearly and realized that it was the laughter, his and mine, that was the gateway to experience truth.  The truth that love is always present, ready to flow through me and it is only my self-created dramas, that I believe are real, which block it.

Do not forget to laugh at yourself and at others. For in the laughter is the forgiveness of all people’s ignorance of their own power to choose what perception of life they have. Be courageous enough to laugh at even the most serious perceptions, so you may uncover the blockage to love you create with the drama of not having things the way you want them to be.

The laughter helps let go of the tight grip to have things a certain way and opens the door to receive the experience of a better way. A way you could not know was possible because you were so preoccupied with tunnel vision for how your life or the world should be.

Today is a good day to laugh. Laugh hard. Laugh long. Laugh loud.