Do You Want To Be Free Of Anger Or Any Negative Emotion?

Then look directly at it.

Choosing to look directly at what is occurring inside of us is the beginning of being responsible for the experience of our lives. Accepting this responsibility is the key to freeing ourselves from the blocks that keep our vision limited and unable to see all the possibilities available to us in any given moment that could take our lives in a new direction.

How do we do this with kindness and compassion so that we do not inadvertently create a whole new drama of guilt and blame on ourselves?

First we must recognize that by looking at what is going on within us means to look at the process of our mind, more than looking at the details of what was thought, said or done.

However, to get started, we will break down the situation, thoughts and feelings but they are just clues to the hidden beliefs below that determine how we are processing information. It is the hidden beliefs we want to expose so we can question and clarify if this is something we want to continue to believe.

When we look at the process of our mind, something unusual may happen. We will experience the realization that we are not our mind. By looking at how our mind works, we have the experience of being separate from our mind as we watch what it does. This a positive step as it allows us to be kind to our true selves, the ones watching the mind, so we do not mistakenly fall into the trap of hating, blaming or hurting our true selves for what we might find hidden in our unconscious mind.

If we do this type of work often enough, it will soon become clear that our true self was always separate from our mind but we could not know it as we have been unknowingly hypnotized by our mind. Our mind has kept us so busy with its arbitrarily created beliefs from all our experiences, that we may never have actually had the opportunity to know and experience our true selves.

When we do get to have this experience, it shatters all other experiences of who we thought we were and opens a new doorway to what is possible for us.

Here is a framework for looking within ourselves whenever any irritation or annoyance presents itself to investigate and eventually dissolve it. As we know, these moments are our opportunities to remove the hidden blocks that have kept us stuck in a limited reality of repeated patterns that are counterproductive towards the life we desire.

When we really want to free ourselves from these limitations, we will be motivated to do the work of inward focus and responsibility.

There are three parts to the investigation: Know, Connect, Choose.

Know Thyself:

  1. Trigger and Emotion Resonated:
  2. My Reality of the Situation (vs. Actuality)
  3. My Desire/Want (for this trigger, stated as what I do want, not what I don’t want)
  4. My Secret Payoff: (the juice or energy I get from having this desire frustrated over and over)
  5. My Hidden Belief: (about myself or the world that keeps me in this desire/frustration cycle)

Connect To God/Love/Divine:

  1. Focus on a mind picture of love unrelated to the above. Wait for a physical change, (smile, warmth, tingling in body, etc.); accept this as God/Love/Divine being awakened in you.
  2. Ask to have the emotions dissolved.
  3. Release Desire.
  4. Release Secret Payoff and corresponding Hidden Belief.

Choose New Belief:

  1. I see things differently now and with clear intention, I choose to believe:
  2. The payoff for this new belief is:

Using the story of “selfish people make me angry” from two blog posts ago, we will use this framework to investigate how our mind processes what we perceive, reinforces hidden beliefs and keeps our true selves a prisoner of our mind and then turn it around with intelligent, responsible choice.

Until then and with much compassion,


12 thoughts on “Do You Want To Be Free Of Anger Or Any Negative Emotion?

  1. I found the asking part interesting, since most of the times I have encountered people who say that you should only be aware of and accept the negativity, but they seem to have a lack of understanding on how to “ask”… The first part:

    “Focus on a mind picture of love unrelated to the above. Wait for a physical change, (smile, warmth, tingling in body, etc.); accept this as God/Love/Divine being awakened in you.”

    I haven’t found necessary however. To me it works just to “ask” for the destruction/removal of the negativity and it disappears. However, it is important to be as aware as possible. The less aware, the more absorption in the negativity we are and that strengthens the negative state, so the disintegration and absorption in the negativity works in opposite directions. Therefore, the more aware, the more powerful the disintegration is.

    Have you tried, as you spot the negatvity, to just “ask” for its removal? Have you managed to get it right? Or for what reason did you write the first part? Personally I find that it should only be limiting, since it is possible just to spot all different inner states constantly arising, and precisly at the moment of the manifestations, ask for disintegration. So it is like living with the windshield wipers of a car turned on, wiping the rain (negativity) away whenever it occurs. To first imagine something and/or wait for physical change seems unnecessary. But interested in why you wrote that, perhaps I am missing something? Or simply is because you haven’t been able to remove the negativity simply by asking before doing that? :)


    • Hi: From my experience, the negativity in us is not only in our mind/intellect/ego but is also stored in our physical body. Negativity in us is not a result of the present situation but is from the past either in this lifetime or ones prior and is locked in our whole physicality, in the cells and tissues of our body as reflected in our genetic structure passed to us. Our whole body is like a tuning fork and it resonates to the frequency of the level of consicousness we are at. Negative states produce low energy and tense physicality. Positive states create more alert and relaxed physicality. So, when connecting to the Divine, the physical change is the indicator that you have shifted both mind and body focus to the Divine. This is important becasue our spiritual nature is not separate from our bodies. Our bodies are part of the spiritual manifestation in this plane, so we must incorporate our awareness not only in mental states but physical as well.

      Thanks for asking. It really helps me to see more clearly.

      • No there are not only egos manifesting in our intellect, but in other parts of the body as well. For example, emotions around solar plexus area and if you tense the body (unconsciously) then you can spot egos in you upper back area. So these ego-sensations are in different places. However, a lack of awareness means absorption in the mind (because of egos in the intellect). And if we want to disintegrate egos (in any of the areas that they are manifesting in) awareness is important. Because, the less aware, means more absorption in egos. And the disintegration works to reduce the egos, while absorption in egos strengthens them. Therefore, awareness is important for the disintegration to be efficient. And if we are aware then we see the egos and we can disintegrate them by asking.

        It is a really simple thing to do, once you understand how it works. Simply be aware and ask. :)

  2. Often, absorption in the mind can be what makes awareness not working… Easy to think about being aware for example, instead of being aware… So when asking, perhaps much absorption in the intellect is taking place.

  3. Just wanted to clarify that from my first comment :) that absorption in mind I have found something which most definitly hinders the disintegration from working properly…


    • Yes, I agree. That is why I believe by getting into the habit of watching the process of the mind, rather than getting involved in the details of each situation that bothers us, eventually brings about the experience that we are watching something seperate from us. This leads to the realization that we are not our mind. This point of seperation is the beginning of knowing what we truly are and witnessing the incredible power we have through the Divine to clear anything unlike Love or Divinity in us, moving us to higher levels of consciousness. We are lucky to be alive in this plane to have the opportunity to clear negativity from our spirtual nature and move closer to the Divine.

      Every time I come to this point, my mind asks Why? Why does Divinity go through all of this? Don’t have the answer for that one but I think it has something to do with Divinity being itself. If Divinity is everything, Allness, then each of us are parts of it in different stages of knowingness, coming and going, creating karma and clearning it up, reaching higher levels and falling into lower levels of consciousness. Collectively we are everything, one huge dance of the Divine. THoughts?

      • I cannot answer why we are here, why we are experiencing pain, etc… But as you said, I do not find it unlikely that ultimately we are here to get rid of our negativity. Perhaps we have to go through the pain and disintegrating it, in order to reach eternal life (awareness) and happiness? But it is not anything I know… But I know that egos is nothing but bad and awareness and the disintegration brings a much better life.

      • I want to share this point of view with you. Perhaps egos are not bad. They evolved to serve a purpose early on in our evolution and that was for survival when man was more animalistic. Ego is about getting and dominating to stay alive. Important for the animal kingdom. But as evolving humans ego gets in the way of knowing the Divine. However ego is very strong becasue of its domination over the ages. As with anything, what you resist, persists. So if we fight the ego and try to kill it, it will fight back stronger than we are. We can call on the Divine however, I beleive it is our personal and individual responsiblity to get our ego out of the way so that Divine can shine in and through us. If we fight the ego head on, we are not helping to get it out of the way but giving it ammunition to get stronger.

        I believe it may be best to honor the ego for its survival service it has given us over the ages by working alongside it. Right now as I write my ego is listening. To threaten it with destruction is to rile its defenses. Rather I believe to question its process of thought patterns and beliefs is a more gentle way to help it see itself and understand that it no longer needs to fight for our survival as we are already “alive and well” through the Divine. Thanks so much for the dialogue.

      • Hello again,

        we ask the Divine to disintegrate the ego, it is not “we” who do it. We make a request for it to be disintegrated. We are aware of it, calm, in awareness… And we ask for its disintegration, without “resistance” in the ego-way or tensing up, because that is absorption in ego. However, it could be true that the ego revolts when it is dying. But we have to keep dying anyway. If it revolts, but we stay aware and ask for the disintegration, it goes away. Strong ego-reactions are more difficult to stay detached from however, so they could more easily drag us in, make us absorbed in the ego.

        Important thing is to be able to stay detached, aware of the egos, and asking for disintegration WHILE in awareness, without absorption in ego.

        If we do that it is great, but the ability to do so also improves with more understanding on how to do it (with practice) and also it is said that the expansion of consciousness makes it easier as well, since the consciousness gets stronger and the legion of egos reduce.

      • Btw, have sent you an email. Sometimes mails get “filtered away” I believe, so that it is placed in the spam-part. Just thought I’d let you know in case you didn’t see it :)

  4. I have a book which is called “The Flight of the Feathered Serpent”, written by Armando Cosani… The author was a journalist during the second world war and he met a “mysterious friend” and the book is about their conversations and also things that the friend wrote and asked the journalist to publish. Here is a quote from it, the friend writes:

    ““Watch and pray” was the heritage left by Christ for the courageous.

    Watch is to do everything awakened; pray is a feeling of ardent yearning to be one with the Being.

    However, he who prays and watches, even though they do it in an imperfect way, will receive generous help and he will learn to receive generously as well…

    The help is in the Here and it is Now.”

    The disintegration is sometimes referred to as “the mystical death” or “the inner death” because we kill the egos, die to them… And from that, it is said that consciousness which was trapped inside them returns to us (the “main” consciousness) so by dying to egos the consciousness gradually expands. Here are a couple of more quotes from the book:

    ”He who wants to live, learn to die,” said the Pauah of the West.
    “He who wants to die, listen and wake up,” said the Pauah of the South.

    ~The Flight of the Feathered Serpent


    Make yourself eyes to see and ears to hear, open them, listen and wake up in order to also die.

    To die completely, once and for all!

    I think it is interesting to see this expressed in different text throughout the world :)

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