You Know What Really Bothers Me?

A story as promised from my last blog:

Today I was sitting at an outdoor cafe taking in the beautiful day while having a nice meal when a woman with a little dog in her bag began an argument with the hostess over the table she wanted to be seated at. The manager intervened and called upon a waiter to immediately clear the table the woman preferred. In the rush, he bumped into a busboy carrying a tray of glasses that crashed to the floor. The manager, the hostess, the waiter and the busboy scrambled to pick up the broken glass as the little dog barked at the commotion.

Selfish people bother me. A whole discordant scene was created because of that woman’s selfish demands. What was once pleasant suddenly became unpleasant and that made me angry.

Selfish people really annoy me. You know the kind; the ones that walk into a room and make it all about them. How about the ones who befriend you and very quickly you realize the relationship is one-sided as they constantly ask for help and favors while hardly ever offering the same in return?

Selfish people make me angry because they are takers.

I think selfish people should change and be givers. That would make me feel better because I give a lot and I think other people should to. It is the right way to be and the world would be a better place if everybody gave more than they take.

Selfish people really irritate me. I actually hate them. You know the more I think about it most people in this world are selfish. Just think of how many times I get cut off on the highway, or wait in the stupid doctors office because they have overbooked or someone was selfishly late and threw off everyone else’s schedule?

I am so angry right now I think I will call a friend to let off some steam.


“Hey, how are you? What’s up?”

“Really pissed off. How are you?

“Well, actually I was just sitting here relaxing with a cup of coffee out on my deck enjoying the great weather….what’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing, I was just minding my own business having a nice day when this idiot caused a whole commotion at this café I was at and ruined my whole day!”

“Wow, sorry to hear that. It was such a beautiful day today. What was the commotion about?”

“Forget it. It doesn’t matter. Talk to you later.”

I pop a piece of chocolate in my mouth from a bar I keep in the refrigerator for emergencies such as this. I feel better. Actually, who cares about earlier in the day? Everything seems okay.

A whole chocolate bar later and I am at the gym pounding on the treadmill. I am angry at myself for eating the chocolate, angry at the woman in the café and angry at my friend for being selfishly happy while I am so miserable.

In the shower after my run, I reflect on the series of events and realize today is not unique. I am like this most of the time. I start out wanting to be happy and to enjoy my life and then always end up angry about something. Up until this moment I assumed it was always someone else fault. Either they did something or they had some character flaw that made me upset.

Why is this?

What bothers us is our greatest ally.

When we stop running from, resisting or blaming others for what bothers us and make the choice instead to embrace it, we take the first leap towards freedom to choose a better life.

What bothers us points to where we need to look to uncover the truth of the hidden beliefs in our unconscious that have been secretly influencing us. This truth gives us the power to make an intelligent choice about it. We can stay imprisoned with these newly discovered beliefs by choosing to keep believing more of the same or we can set ourselves free by changing these beliefs.

Changing beliefs requires deep honesty and introspection. It also requires kindness. What is hidden within us is not always easy to understand and embrace. We may discover things that we will feel ashamed of or sad about. At the same time, we can realize that part of our problem may have been that we really do not know ourselves very well.

And now that we are beginning to know, the journey of our life will never be the same.

More on why selfish people make me angry next time.

 With peace,