Happy Easter

Posted on March 31, 2013 by

Today is the day to remember that we are more than bodies. We are God’s energy emanating through physical form. Today is the day to remember there is no need for struggle in this world because the source of all we need is already within and flowing through us.

God is not outside of us but is the very light we are created with. We were never separate from God nor did we ever have to earn his favor.

It is hard to accept that we secretly enjoy the struggles of life as it gives us a purpose when we don’t understand why we are here. We can choose to surrender the struggle and face the fear of a life without mental hardship that we unknowingly created. It will take faith and trust to believe that a new purpose will arise for us. A purpose that is joyful. peaceful and complete.

The purpose is to be fully present to all of life. Fully present means without any resistance in the form of judgement; good or bad, right or wrong.

Be fully present with what is at this moment and allow the mysterious beauty of that to unfold before your very eyes.

Happy Easter.

1personresponsible

Posted in Contemplations, Feelings, God, Insight, Inspiration, motivation, Philosophy, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ashamed of Shame

Posted on March 17, 2013 by

Shame suffocates me. I can’t breathe or I won’t breathe because I am too ashamed to even suck up the air I need. I’m not sure when the shame birthed itself but I can remember hiding because of it very early in my life. The kind of hiding when you pretend you don’t notice someone you know because you don’t have anything to say that will match their perfectly wonderful life.

I am 51, reasonably attractive and reasonably successful. Yet today as I shopped in Marshall’s looking for the latest cheap deal on a dress, wearing my sloppy Sunday shorts, I caught a glance of an old boyfriend from high school with his wife. I hadn’t seen him in years but we connected on facebook last year and exchanged a few pleasantries but then I backed off. From his posts I gathered he made oodles of money, is a committed husband and loving father, all the things I failed having with a man. I couldn’t face him without looking my best. I slinked away between the shirt racks.

There is another way I hide. I withdraw from the moment. My body is there but my heart disappears.

Yesterday started out as a beautiful day with a long drive planned to a quiet beach to spend time with my daughter and her much loved dogs. From the moment she slammed the transmission into drive she was seething with anger, a fight the night before with her father lingered in every movement. Then the hate poured out of her mouth like vomit. “I hate him! I hate grandma and Sal! I hate them all!”

Pictures of long gone battles with my ex-husband and his family popped up like a continuous row of jack-in-a-boxes exploding in my skull. The buried frustration, the disgust, the disappointment rocked back and forth like clown heads on a spring. Then the shame of bringing her into those circumstances stifled any expression of love like a nylon stocking pulled down tight over my face. I couldn’t smile. I couldn’t communicate. I couldn’t be.

I lost 6 hours of my life yesterday in a time warp of shame.

I lied. I think I know when the shame started. It was somewhere between wondering where my father was and trying to not be a problem for my irritable mother. They divorced when I was less than 3 years old and I have no memories of him. Only a few pictures I found in a closet shoebox that substitute for memories that should have been. My mother was always angry, even for silly things it seemed when I was young. Not sure if she was always that way or if it was because of him leaving.  Either way, I had to keep my guard up. Less than perfect would not do. If she left too, who would take care of me? If I made her angry, who would protect me?

Still stuck in this little girl place where it’s not safe, I am ashamed for even being here after all these years.

And yet, I perpetuate the shame by judging myself for even having it. It is not the shame that causes me disharmony. It is my judgment for having it.

I am allowed and encouraged to experience all parts of humanity without judgment. This allowing is forgiveness. It is surrender to what is rather than fighting and judging the temporary experience of this moment. And through the allowing, forgiving and surrendering, the shame is finally free to move on and out of my physical body and mind. Thus restoring balance and center to once again feel what I truly am, a magnificent being that is part of the Whole, yet expressing itself uniquely in this human body.

With compassion,

1personrresponsible

Posted in Contemplations, faith, forgiveness, Insight, Inspiration, Philosophy, Spirituality | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

God is What We Come From, What We Are and What We Return To

Posted on February 8, 2013 by

“He’s gone” is what my son said about Mikey, our family cat. He didn’t  say he was dead when he called me at the office. In a trembling voice he said only, “he’s gone”. I grilled him on the phone. How? What happened? But he kept repeating “he’s gone”.

I rushed home. When I saw his lifeless little body wrapped in a towel, I knew why my son had said he’s gone. His body had been vacated. Standing there looking at him, the word dead didn’t fit. He just seemed gone.

Perhaps we instinctively know what animates our skin and bones is far beyond the body itself. Maybe we recognize there is a Presence in living things that’s not made up of matter. When the body stops functioning, it becomes obvious the body wasn’t the Presence but merely the holder of it.

Why don’t we see this when someone is alive? We relate to the body so much. Its gestures and its speech are what we interact with, what we think we love or hate. We never really get to know the Presence beneath all this, the silent energy that flows through them.  If we sit still long enough, we can recognize the same silent energy flows through us. This same Presence is in us and has nothing to do with our constantly changing body and mind.

Some people believe it’s too hard to comprehend the finality of death. They believe we create concepts about a Presence that lives on to rationalize the pain. I understand this. But I have a hard time believing the Presence that animated our cat and even my mother when she was alive, was nothing more than a perfect combustion of chemicals. Something started that fire that was their lives.

I believe that was God.

Many spiritual writings talk about the breath of God as the force that gives us life. It could be that God is more than the giver of life but is the very Presence of life within us. Silently, God is living within all of us beneath our personalities, beliefs, memories and longings. God is with us all the time because God is this silent Presence.

We spend so much time looking for God, asking for his forgiveness, his charity, his praise. We look up to the sky or towards some symbol of God but we never think to look within ourselves. To sit quietly and let all the distractions of the outside world and the inner world of our mind settle down, to come back into contact with the Presence of God within.

If the Presence within is God, then we are never separate from God. Maybe we are asleep to God, blind or deaf to God but never apart. God is right here, right now within as the silent but powerful engine that moves us along.

Perhaps there are many levels to God and our world is just one level with people, animals, plants, the Earth, the Sun and all the universe having their current of God running through. God may not be that separate entity we were taught to believe in. Rather God is the very Presence we and everything else are made of. Only the costumes we wear are different but the Presence within is the same.

This would change our view of everything wouldn’t it? We might disagree with the outer shell but we could never really hate it because it was our same Presence at its core. It is this same silent Presence that lives and breathes each day regardless of the events we worry and argue so much about.

Then for some seemingly random and unknown reason, which may or may not be, the Presence decides to move on. Perhaps to join other parts of the Presence temporarily housed somewhere else. Or to move back to the original, pure and highest form of Presence for a rest before journeying out again.

If God is many levels and perhaps omnipresent, existing everywhere at once, then it becomes clear why what we call “life” seems to come and go. It could be that God is what we come from, what we are and what we return to. It’s all God coming and going, moving and reshaping, ever creating itself in new forms.

It’s kind of playful isn’t it? Like our cat Mikey was.

1personresponsible

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Why Connecticut?

Posted on December 15, 2012 by

What happened in Connecticut could only happen because the young man who did this mistakenly thought there was no other way to relieve his pain other than ending the lives of others as well as himself.

The real tragedy is that he didn’t realize the real source of his pain was that he didn’t know he was connected to something more powerful and more loving than himself or what he could ever connect with in this world.

If he KNEW the source of love that his spirit came from, he would never have resorted to this. I believe even with mental illness, if that was his case, his spirit could have been reached and acknowledged.

Today, I will look at each person and acknowledge the spirit that is behind the name they call themselves and see their powerful source of love from which they come from.

With that acknowledgement, perhaps they will look inward and see the spirit that I see, alleviating some of their pain and possibly averting a potential tragedy.

1personresponsible

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Post Election Wisdom

Posted on November 7, 2012 by
The secret to success and happiness over the next four years and beyond is:
Depend on yourself, not the government. Define your own rights, don’t wait for the government. Help yourself, don’t ask the government. Contribute to others, don’t expect the government.
In the end, our success and happiness is always about us, what we believe, what we think and what we take action on. The outside world is just a fantasy or nightmare that we either idolize or blame. Either way, it is a distraction from our true internal power.
World conditions always change and if we depend on it for our stability and strength, we will eventually be disappointed.
Instead, today is great day to wake up and become responsible for the life we want to live regardless if the outside world matches our expectations or not.
Yes, today is a great, great day for stepping up to what may seem like a challenge and instead seeing it as an opportunity to be a leader. The leader of ourselves.
1personresponsible
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When, What and Why to Forgive?

Posted on September 26, 2012 by

Forgiveness is something we can do at every moment and is actually the key to our happiness because it is our opportunity to live in this physical world as close to God, our true identity, as is humanly possible. When you are living as close to your authentic, true self, you are the most happiest, peaceful and joyful because you are free from all false pretenses that take so much effort to keep up.

Many people are skeptical to believe that God is their true identity as we have been trained to believe that God is something outside of us that we must obey in order to gain favor.

However, I define God as the all loving, all creative, all present energy that is the source of everything in this physical world and beyond including me. I also believe God has no allegiance to any religion or belief system because it is the larger energy that animates everything. In my understanding, God is removed and above any thought system humans have devised and at the same time God extends itself through each and every human on this planet and any possible being beyond in the universe.

It is not necessary to have an authority validate my beliefs as the proof is in the feeling of peace and safety that results from believing God is the core of who we all are.

Because of how I define God, forgiveness is something I do for myself as the antidote to all pain which stems from this one error; perceiving, defining and judging others or myself by our actions and words rather than by our God essence.

This mis-perception of what our true essence really is causes all suffering because if someone else is Godless- not sourced in God, then maybe I too am not sourced in God as well. This fear of potentially not being connected to God means we could be all floating in a vast wasteland of meaninglessness without a lifeline, left to our own devices to somehow create meaning out of chaos.

Our egos want us to believe that the chaos is true because then we will cling to our ego’s ideas and principles so strongly for safety. We will separate, divide and continue the chaos at all costs for fear of losing ourselves if the chaos were to suddenly morph into the order of God.

The ego asks, who are you if you are not defining yourself by fighting against something you are not?

God answers, you would be as I Am, whole and complete.

Forgiveness changes the viewpoint that the universe is chaos and says that only the mind identified with the ego is in chaos which is why it looks out on a world and only sees only chaos. After forgiveness you return to your true God identification which is outside of time and space as the ever-present, ever-loving, ever-constant, ever-sure and ever-steady energy beyond the perceived chaos.

Forgiveness is the understanding that we were delusional when we viewed the world and ourselves through the distorted lens of ego’s false self that says we are separate from each other, separate from the one God and that we must fight to keep this separate identity in order to survive.

Forgiveness acknowledges that events may happen, horrible events may come to pass, but it is how we look at these events, how we perceive them, how we interpret them and our decision to even judge them as something we don’t want, that is the seed for of all our suffering.

And with this self-responsibility comes our power to change our experience.

Forgiveness says we saw things incorrectly. Forgiveness says we looked at the mask that covered the truth and judged the mask to be the true instead of the truth. Forgiveness says we are willing to give up our ego and look beyond the false identity to see the real identity of ourselves as extensions of the Love of God.

Forgiveness means seeing God at the core of everyone and everything, which takes the “sting” out of what at first, seemed painful on the surface. After that, there may be situations to change, requests to be made, actions to be taken but they are taken with the greater knowledge that at our essence, we are all the perfect Love of God already.

In this view, we are free to make changes in our lives and request help with what would assist us to be more comfortable without guilt or fear knowing we are all on our journey back to the truth that God is within each of us and is the loving source of all that is.

Forgiveness means to finally have the courage to look past what is false and see what is true for everyone; that the existence of each of us, including our perceived enemies, is the proof of the extending Love of God. Everything else is a temporary reality that is inconsequential compared to the absolute truth of what God’s reality is. This helps us deal with the pain of the temporary with more grace and confidence and less angst and strife.

To forgive means to finally be free of the confusion of what is real and what is not, to understand what is meaningful and what is not and to be clear about what suffering is and what it is not.

To forgive means to enjoy our identity and source with the timeless, changeless God and not with the fragile, temporary ego.

Knowing this, let us ask ourselves; could this be the perfect time to let go of who we think we are and allow forgiveness to show us who we really are?

1personresponsible

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We Experience The Life We Choose

Posted on September 6, 2012 by

You define your Life by your choices.

Every choice shapes the experience of every moment.

It is a choice for how you see the world.

It is a choice for how you operate in the world.

It is a choice for the intention behind your words and actions.

The choice is always the same; between two different perspectives, expressed many ways.

The choice for attack or peace.

The choice for fear or love.

The choice for sadness or celebration.

The choice for grievance or appreciation.

The choice for victimhood or responsibility.

The choice for despair or hope.

The choice for resistance or acceptance.

The choice for hate or understanding.

The choice for guilt or forgiveness.

The choice for doom or opportunity.

The choice for separation or joining.

The choice for competition or sharing.

The choice for Ego or God.

The choice to believe in a God of judgment or a God of Love.

The choice to believe you have “no other choice” or that you “always have another choice”.

What choices have you made that shape your world view?

Right now, you can choose again.

You can make another choice and change your whole experience.

Please choose wisely.

1personresponsible

Posted in Contemplations, faith, God, Insight, Inspiration, Spirituality, Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments